VULNERABILITY (noun):
the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
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"What if it doesn't work out?" .
"What if I get hurt?" .
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In so many ways vulnerability sucks. It's uncomfortable and awkward and at times downright scary. We are not in control but we do our best with what we can.
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As an athlete, risk is not new to me, and unknowns, uncercertianity and feeling uncomfortable, are not a novelty in my life. I am asked to sacrifice and invest and be "all in". But there are no guarantees.
I focus on the things I can control and do what I can. Yet ironically, every action, every investment, every sacrifice, all the time and money I pour into this pursuit to bring me closer to “the goal”, simultaneously makes failure more costly both literally and figuratively.
Sometimes, it feels too risky, too vulnerable, too scary, too much.. .
But then I am reminded that there is beauty and opportunity hidden in the vulnerability of fully investing and dedicating myself in the presence of things beyond my control.
And through my faith, I have found peace beyond understanding in the midst of insecurity.
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Whether it's circumstances beyond your control or choosing to jump head first into opportunity, uncertainty is uncertainty, and fear is fear. It is normal for these things to go hand in hand. And the good news is, if you are feeling afraid, you are not alone! If you need to, reach out, talk about it, work through those fears and uncertainties with someone. And in doing so I hope you find peace and choose vulnerability.
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